Thursday, January 8, 2009

tears of $$$

Ok folks, I am going to admit something I find hard to swallow, I am the worst will money. So much money has passed through my hot little hands I dare to say it would make you faint. Hubby is floored by how much I have had and spent. It is shocking the amount of pointless crap I have bought with out thinking. The Christmas I got divorced from my first husband, I went to the mall with over 4k in my pocket and came out broke, having spent it all on gifts. What was I thinking, and what do I continue to think.

When I turned 18, my folks said Happy Birthday, here is over 300k in a trust we have saved for you since birth... have fun! Well now I just shy of turning 39 and I have a little over $100 bucks in my pocket Hubby gave me this am and my bank is overdrawn. Damn damn damn! I am the worst! I have an upset stomach because of over 60k in bills (this includes both cars). How did it get this bad? Can I cry now?

Damn Oprah and her Best Life Week... Susie Orman was on my XM today... making me really think about how I have been so irresponsible with our money. Who do I think I am? What have I been doing all these years... I guess stuffing my self with tons of food and shopping for ton of crap to fill a void in my self esteem that in the end is unfillable.

In 2009, I need to create a plan of action to get myself out of the past debt and on path to stability. Susie says to be happy and fuffilled you need to live with truth. Damn, the scale and the spread sheet are a truth I can no longer denie. Besides food and a few basics, there is not one thing us or our kids need. This debt of $$$ and health is sufficating me! I want out!

Now back to work cleaning my preverable house.

God bless 2009!


Whitney said...

Hi, I found your blog through the Organizing Junkie and found myself reading your other posts. I can't help but reach out to you. Have you ever heard of Dave Ramsey? I highly suggest that you visit his website and check him out. It's His principles are simple but can help you get out of debt. He also has a radio show and a television show on the Fox Business Network. This man has changed my life and I hope he can change yours too. Good luck!