Tuesday, January 6, 2009

a day without the kids...

So today was the first day back to 'normal' with both kids @ the sitters. How nice to feel like I could breath for the first time in two weeks. The joke here is I ran around all day! On days when I am alone, I either putter/sew or I run around. It took me just shy of 30 minutes to return something at WalMart today. Crazy!

The one bright spot today was my weight loss meeting. (more about that in another post)

There has been so much talk about the Oprah weight loss/weight gain nuttiness. I have TiVo-ed this weeks episodes but have yet to watch them however I have listened to many of the topics on my XM radio. Oprah radio rocks! I have heard so much positive, life changing information in the past two years it is a shame I have yet to implement most of it into my life.

When I was in college, I remember vividly the image of Oprah walking out with her little red wagon of fat, proud for losing such a massive amount of her body weight in such a short time. Little did we, the impressionable tv watchers, know that she drank an unhealthy liquid shake and lost the weight in such a way she could never keep it off.

I love Oprah as much as the next 30/40 something American woman, yet I Have been oddly and unmistakeably scared by her ups and downs. In some ways I should be proud for her, the fact she keeps picking herself up and going for another ride on the diet roller coaster. Unfortunately this has left me feeling empty... like if Oprah, one of the smartest, richest, most influential woman on earth can't do it, how can I even hope to make my goals come true. There are 100's of people each year that make tremendous weight losses happen with out surgery, pills, cooks, trainers and expensive gym memberships. If they can do it, why can't Oprah??? What is so 'wrong' with her that she is incapable of doing as she is told, eating as she is told, and keeping her health a major focus. What is up with that?!?!?!?!

So this leads me to my big awakening, as with Oprah, I see my weight has little to do with what I eat and how I do not move enough. No my being overweight has everything to do with me being hurt, wounded, broken on the inside and food as a way to feed my internal emotional unhappiness. So simple really... no what?

Well I have a short answer... O.A. It may not be for everyone, but I think I may have found a place where I can really got some work done. How lucky am I to finally have found a place where I can be myself and find the tools to create a new me? I think VERY lucky!

So on that note, I am off to bed and I can't seem to keep my eyes open.

Nitght all!