Friday, April 11, 2008


*Do you ever get the feeling like you are sitting on the edge of change, on the verge of over coming? I had my Dr's appointment this past week and it is official, I have Type II Diabetes. She thinks with an huge change in the way I eat, exercising, and losing weight I may be able to avoid having insulin. I am relieved to know there is something wrong with me. I told my Husband that if the blood work came back normal, then I would be back to being a big cow not a woman with Diabetes. In my mind it is a huge difference, being forced to change everything for your health rather then wanting to lose weight to fit in smaller jeans.

*I am trying hard not to feel sorry for myself, as it will get my no place fast. The more I get upset the more i want to eat and make the circle repeat itself all over again. I have been reading the most amazing book Broken by William Moyers. So much of what he feels and describes as he is going though recovery from drugs and alcohol feel like me and food. I have always wondered if I need OA, and in reading the list of questions to see of you need help, I can answer yes to 95% of them.

*I need help. I am losing my mind in the house all day with the kids, the dogs, the husband. I need a space for me and maybe that is OA. Weight Watchers meetings never worked and I fail at doing this on my own. I need to do this for my kids. It feels like my life depends on me losing the weight, getting my sugars in control, and becoming more active. I have been given the gift of Diabetes, now the real work begins.